Why I Hate Twitter

No! I absolutely positively do not Tweet! It pisses me off. My cousin recently got married and we decided to go play golf and then go to a nice restaurant. While we were riding in the car one of his friends whips out his blackberry and states "Hey does anyone want to know what Shaquille O'Neal is doing?" Actually...No the fuck I don't. I will tell you what he is doing. He is walking around with hands the size of cast iron frying pans making loads more money than I am. Just picking on you Shaq, I still have your rookie card homie. If America is that obsessed with what everyone else is doing nowadays then we really are screwed. Most people can't pay for their own health insurance in this country, but we can make sure we know when Larry Kudlow is taking a shit! This kind of product is the reason why Americans will stay the mindless idiots we have proven ourselves to be in past years. Maybe, just maybe, we should stop worrying about Tim Tebow feeling grumpy because his favorite Ameican Idol got voted off and focus on what we are doing with our own lives right now. It is bad enough that most of us spend our lives wasting our time, but only in America, ONLY IN FUCKING AMERICA, could we have invented a way to spend our lives wasting our time by checking to see how other people are wasting their time. Fuck me I think I just tweeted my pants. Here is a novel idea for everyone...back away from the computer and go see what a fucking tree looks like. Looking up a picture of a tree on Google doesn't count. Go outside, go for a run, go hiking, or just see what the sun feels like for five minutes a day and get you nose out of other people's business. It might do you some good. I must be honest and fair in these posts though, I must admit I would love to see what Michael Jackson is tweeting from hell. Now that would be an interesting post. What do you mean there isn't internet in hell, everyone knows that hell has dial up! Dial up is hell...tweet you later bitches!